Post by stormfire on Apr 28, 2008 9:50:45 GMT -8
One dark gloomy stormy night a lonely young lady was sitting at a bench, waiting for the bus. It was raining very hard and it was as if it was hailing. A man came walking through the rain with an umbrella. He stopped by the lady and asked, “Would you like me to walk you home miss?” His voice was gentle and caring and she accepted his offer and walked with him. As they walked the man offered his jacket to her, “here you look cold. Have my jacket” Is what was said to the young lady and she took the jacket. It was a heavy and warm jacket that warmed her. As they got to her house she went inside and vanished till the next day when the process repeated itself for many days. After a while the lady stopped coming to the bus stop.
One day the man went to her house and knocked on the door. As the door opened a figure stood in the door way,”Excuse me, but I believe a lady named Julia lives here, is she around?” He asked and the man shook his head “Julia has been dead for about a month now, I’m sorry. If you want, you can go check for yourself at Bills Bury cemetery at the end of this street on your right.” The younger man was spooked and nodded his head, leaving quietly and by the end of the fence to the house was that lady. As he walked up to her she vanished in front of him and his jacket was no longer with her. It was at her grave that he visited the next day
Critisism is welcomed. This is a story i wrote for an english class and it's like my very first one.. Let me know on a scale from 1 - 10 how good it is
One day the man went to her house and knocked on the door. As the door opened a figure stood in the door way,”Excuse me, but I believe a lady named Julia lives here, is she around?” He asked and the man shook his head “Julia has been dead for about a month now, I’m sorry. If you want, you can go check for yourself at Bills Bury cemetery at the end of this street on your right.” The younger man was spooked and nodded his head, leaving quietly and by the end of the fence to the house was that lady. As he walked up to her she vanished in front of him and his jacket was no longer with her. It was at her grave that he visited the next day
Critisism is welcomed. This is a story i wrote for an english class and it's like my very first one.. Let me know on a scale from 1 - 10 how good it is