God...

[.:spottedwing::.]

I just needed to this. I need to vent, or else I think I'll die.








God...

Why was my childhood stolen?
Why was it teared to shreads?
Is that why I watch cartoons again?

God...

Why did you give my someone to ruin my life?
Why?
Was it to teach me a lesson?
But what did I ever do?
Why?
Was it to learn to stand up for myself?

God...

Why am I an Indigo?
It's okay, I love it, but it tends to torture me sometimes.
Is that why I'm called crazy?
Is that why I feel the feelings of others?
Is that why, when I get angry, I feel angrier, do to the angers of others around me?
Is it to be totured? Because Indigos hate homework and school, as you know, and I'm honors; pressure is put on me so bad, I want to cry. And my mom doesn't take care of me the way an Indigo parent should.

God...

Why can I only talk to my uncle?
Why can't I talk to other spirits?

God...

Why does she bother me still?
The girl who ruined my life.
The girl who took away my childhood.
Why won't she go away?
Why won't she just dissappear?
Why is she stealing my friends, the people she hates the most?

God...

Why is there killing in the world?
Animal abuse?
Saddness?
Wars?
Why is there evil?
Where is the happiness?

God...

Can you take me away,
every night,
to see some peace?
To feel it,
to be happy,
to go away from this torture.

God,

will I ever find peace?






Don't flame me for this. I just needed to type my feelings down somewhere.

[valiantlight]

*flames* no dont worry i wouldnt do that. good poem. it asks a lot of questions people have.

[~.:Sunfur the Loyal:.~]

*huggles* I understand Spotted, although I'm a bit different.

[hawkfire]

aww... I feel so bad for you. I kind of kow how you feel. I know exactly what it's like to feel like everyone around you hates. But, this isn't about me, it's about you. *huggles* Just know that God is always there for you, no matter what.

[«MªÞlεδtǻr»]

Tonight in youth group we actually addressed some of these things, I will do my best to try to answer some.

There are many reasons why sad things can happen in your life. The thing you need to remember is that it's not a punishment, although that is what people tend to believe. In my life, I personally don't have family troubles, but there are others that I know who do, and they know others and they comfort each other. Because they have experienced that, they are able to help others. I've had lots of trials with friendships and because of that I am able to mentor others [somewhat, I am still learning]. As well these things can happen because God is disciplining you. Family, friends, possessions, all of these things can be "crutches," that is-things that you lean on and depend on rather than depending on God. I lean on friends a lot, and when God took that crutch away from me, I fell on Him, and that year I learned so much and I grew closer to Him.
In the Bible the Pharisees asked Jesus what was the most important commandment, Jesus said to love God and to love others. It all starts with love, love is the tree trunk and many things branch off it to help you throughout life. Going through the trials will help you to 1. Love others by comforting them in their time of need by relating to them, and 2. Loving God by learning to lean upon him rather than worldly things which will always crumble and let you down.

As for the suffering in the world, this world is "Satan's Playground" as my youth pastor referred to it tonight. I haven't completely found the best answer for this yet, but here is part of my current opinion so far: There is sin in the world, bad things happen, tragic things happen. There is my insight on that, it isn't much, it's only a small piece that I have picked up and it's going to take me a long time before I understand even half of it.

A for this person who you are basically saying you can't let go of, I have experienced that recently, just over these past few months, and I'm still working on it, though I have made progress. I also went through this a couple years ago. You might want to let go in your mind, but ultimately it lies in your heart. I asked God many times to help me let go of this person, and nothing changed, it was because I was still holding on with my heart. When I finally let go some, it gradually became easier to let go more. What really helped is writing all my cares (including the person's name) on a balloon and "sending my burdens up to God" by letting the balloon float away. I prayed as it floated away that I was giving my burdens to God and now I feel much better. My heart isn't ready to completely let go, and I'm working on it.

I hope this helped. If you ever need to talk, I'm here

[.:spottedwing::.]

I let that person go, but she can't let me go. The psychic told me to stop worrying, and soon she'd start leaving me alone. She is bothering me less...

[silentclaw]

You learn from these things and they help you grow, because all through life God cannot make everyone's life perfect, or close to it. Its humans who created the bad in the world, no God, you can't blame him for what happened with your friend or what happening with your family. Its like if you bake some cookies and one ends up turning out burnt, if you were to do it over again would you still make the cookies? Yes. Because for every good in the world there is something bad. And with the bad they do stuff to the good but the good can overcome bad and be happy like yay ^^ hag in there Spotty and let God bless ya!